Mario House Party
by darKnite'92
Summary: Every one goes to live with Mario due to some personal problem. They completely destroy Mario's life, and will make laugh if you don't make them pay rent. My first and currentally my only mario fic, please R&R. Funnier than it sounds!
1. Default Chapter

An: HELLO!!! THIS IS MY THird STORY AND PROBABLY WILL FAIL AND GET NO REVEIWS.

BUT IT MAY not FLUNK.

WELL I HAVE NO BRAIN....,...DAH........................

Chapter 1: All under 1 roof.

disclaimer...... doesn't the fact that I have a disclaimer say that I don't own anything?

Mario was walking around his house on beer #7. He heard a knock on his door. It was Peach.

" Hey uuuummmmmmmm....... I...... uuuuuuhhhhhh... lost my castle.. heh heh heh.....These guys gave me a credit card didn't read the fine print and 3 weeks later they own my castle ( those bastards) any way can I stay here" said Peach. "Okay ..." said the drunk Mario.

"Uhhhh I'll stay in that room" said Peach.

Mario finished the beer and gave a loud burp. He heard a loud knock from the door. He opened the door To see Yoshi.

" Hey I need to go to Egg rehab so can I stay here because it's a lot closer." said Yoshi.

" Sure" said Mario.

Mario Started walking around for no reason when he heard the door bell. He went to the door and saw.... just try to guess... Bowser!

" Hey uuuhhh can I stay here our house was burned down" Said Koopa and the Koopa Kids.

" HHHHHHHmmmmmmm ........ OKKKKEEEEEY DOKEY" said the drunk Mario not using his brain.

" Great" said Bowser.

'' NO PROB" finished Mario.

Mario got an other beer when he heard the door bell. He walked over and answered it.

" Hello" said mario.

"Hi. My house is being reconstructed can I stay here for ooo say a year...'' said Daisy.

" Okay now Choose a room"

" Holy crap it worked" whispered Daisy to herself.

Mario opened the cap of his beer when he heard a loud knock. He opened the door and greeted Toad.

" Hey I'm having some uuhh maraige problems" said Toad.

" What do you mean" asked Mario.

" All Chelsey wants to do is sleep" said Toad.

" so she's lazy?" asked Mario.

"no Uhhh ( Toad whispers in Mario's ear)"

" so what you gay?" asked Mario.

" No uuuuuuuh we went through this before 3 years ago renember"

( Flash Back )

" Hey I 'm thinking about marrying my girl friend but all she wants to do is have sex what should I do?" asked toad.

" so what you gay" asked Mario.

"no"

" You sure"

"yes"

"you sure"

"yes"

" are you"

"yes"

"Realy"

"yes"

'' Yah Right"

"GOD DAMN IT I"M STRAIGHT!!!!" Screamed Toad bashing Mario in the head.

Toad Looks at Mario.

" heh heh uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh wake up sleepy head.... uuuuuuhhh ............. OH CRAP"

Said Toad Before he ran for it.

(flashback ends)

"uuuuuuuuhhhhh can I stay here " said Toad nerveously.

" OKAY" said Mario"

Mario started drinking some more when Toadette came because of a gang war on her street, and Boo came to try to find out who killed him, Luigi came due to career problems, Wario came to go on a diet, and Waluigi was hiding from the Mafia. They were all living in one house. And he was going to have to live with them until i'm done torturing him.

BBBBBBBBWWWWWWAAHHHHH hhhhhhhhhahahahahahHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH( COUGHS)

BBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA HA HA oh screw it.

Now reveiw or they'll come to your house.


	2. PARTY

AN: NEXT CHAP ENTER DK ( do I need a discription)

MHP CHAP 2: PARTY........ PARTY...........PARTY..........ANNOY.... BEAT DOWN.........MARIO.......HE'LL .......HATE......ALL ........OF......US...........................................................more!!!!

DISKLAIMe ( back wards R like the KoRn R): I own no patents.

It was 2 a.m. and Mario finally got to sleep and Peach yelled " PARTY"

And 2 seconds later there was a party with over 100 people.

Mario was woken up and was in the dance section so he started to dance when a smaller guy doing the finger dance hit him in the eye. He stumbled around when people doing the "hipshake" hit him causing him to trip when the 2 hit him with their ass's over and over and over and over and over and over and over again in his head. He got away with a migrane. He walked over to the metal section thinking to come for him.

The song starting was "duality" by Slipknot.

" I push my fingers into my

Eyes it's..."

He was getting whacked by my fellow head bangers when he got head butted. The head banger punched him saying "don't get in my way you pansy"

HE walked over and bowser was head banging and a horn hit his head. And then again. He rolled away with a 1/4 of his face covered with blood. He walked over and saw Johnathan Davis. Then "fuel" by Metallica started playing. And the lead singer of KoRn started head banging. Mario was slashed by the hair. Then he got caught in JD's hair and he hit the ceiling then the floor threw the 4 minute song. When he got out of the hair he had a very bloody face.

He desided to go get some food thinking he can't get hurt there.

He was behind an 8' guy who weighed over 3 tons. Then the guy backed up into a chair............ His ass in Mario's face.

Then.........................."BBBBBBBRRRRTTT" went the guy's ass. and again and like in this chapter over and over again. When His ass came soggy, and it bleed through the pants into Mario's cuts. Then the guy did an explosion fart, and if you don't know what that is, it's a REALLY big fart. That can rip threw pants. And it did. So now Mario's face was in crap, and in his cuts to. Then he stood up and Mario freed himself. With a face full of crap.

Mario was pissed and couincidentally the song " saint anger" by Metallica started to play.

Saint Anger 'round my neck

Mario was pissed beyond beleif.

Then Luigi saw mario.

Saint Anger 'round my neck.

"HMMMPH"went Luigi" Hey look every one it's crap face"

He never gets respect

Every one started laughing at Mario. Not because of luigi's lame joke, because he had a face full of crap.

You flush it out , you flush it out

" GET OUT" Mario screamed.

( record screach)

Next scene shows every one throwing him in the pool.

Then Mario sees some one eat his.... his..... his..... SPAGETTI!!!!!!!!!

Mario sprung out of the pool.

" You can beat a man with hip dancing

You can head butt a man

You can whip up and down with head banging

You can even take a crap on my head and have it go into my cuts

But NEVER and I mean never eat a man's Spagetti!!!" exclaimed Mario " BUNDALLO"

A sword is thrown over the fence and Mario catches it.

( Tale of BUNDALLO the mystical sword of Concord CA. begins)

The 4 greatest blacksmiths of Concord CA. created BUNDALLO. Then one killed the other 3 and took the sword and sold it for beer money. Then he died of diebetes 3 days later.

BUY IT NOW ONLY 9.95$

Shows kid with BUNDALLO kill some one.

" Wow"

BUNDALLO BUY IT NOW YOU LITTLE BRAT.

( End Of BUNDALLO Tale)

Mario uses BUNDALLO to kill the 3 ton 8' tall guy. Then the dancers. Then The spagetti eater. Then he tries to get the head banger but he knocks mario out.

AFTER THE PARTY ENDS

Everyone looks at mario as he wakes up.

Mario then says to them " I HATE YOU..........................more"

END. NOW reveiw.


	3. Enter DK

AN: DK will enter in this chapter. NOW READ:

Chapter: Enter DK

DISCLAIMER: I own no patents so go away... lawyers scare me.....**EEEEEKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Hey I'm goin' huntin' bye." said Boo opening the door.

"Hey, hunting's illegal here." replied Mario.

"Then I'm going hiking.... bringin' my guns because uhh......... I'm going to shoot myself." Said Boo running away.

30 MINUTES LATER AT A FOREST.

" Aww, damn I forgot my FU....dgin' guns.... I only have my flame thrower.. Have ta' use 'dat." said Boo

Boo was burning down the whole forest... then left because he was bored.

2 DAYS LATER AT MARIO'S HOUSE

DK was pounding on the door, and the **sober** Mario got it and heard DK say

" Can I stay here... the whole forest was burned..."

" I know... it's all over the news" said Mario.

" Authorities beleive it was a terorist attack" went the television ( can I say T.V.? or is that known as slang?) with the news on.

" Yah... my home was burned... along with Diddy and the other people that no one can name." Dk cryed.

" Whoo I did **that**... Swweeeet!" said Boo as every one else glared at him " I mean oh... that sucks ass for you.. heh heh heh dumbass" he finished and the glares stopped.

" Yes... Donkey Kong you can stay here"

1 DAY LATER

Dk was throwing his crap everywhere. Then all the sudden he got depressed.

Luigi walked in, and unknown to the public he was an alchoholic. He advised beer to DK.

20 MINUTES LATER

"RAHH" screamed the drunk DK.

He toke a crap on the carpet Mario bought 2 days ago. Then DK wiped it off and threw it in Mario's face.

He scraped his ass on a wall.

Then he pissed in Mario's eye.

He picked up the couch and slamed it down on the ground breaking it. He ripped apart the coussioning and threw it around. He ate some of puked it out.

Then he grabbed Mario and bashed him around. He did this for two minutes when he lost consiousness.

" I think he's dead" said Daisy.

**_NOW _**reveiw...is he dead?


	4. Where's my arm?

AN: Writers block... sorry if it sucks.

Mario House Party: Chapter 4 Where's my arm?

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has a patent to it

"Oh Sweet" Said Boo and DK in unison(He wasn't dead) in the discovery of two swords. A big smile on each face came. Then the fought with the two swords breaking everything in sight.

"Take this" Yelled Boo as he tried to slash DK, but DK dodged it.

They destroyed everything in the section of the house they were in when Mario saw the Battle. His eye twitch like it was the wing of a humming bird.

"What.. What...** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RETARDS DOING?**" Exclaimed Mario.

"Ummm... uhhh Ask DK" Boo said not even knowing what he said until he said it.

"Fighting with swords" Said DK calmly.

"Hey Look no one got hurt." Said Boo right before dk's left arm fell off.

End of pathetic and useless chapter created by a very sucky author.


	5. Rent

AN: Sorry if this chapters suck. I have writers block. In other unrealated news, I'm only going to have 10 or 15 at most on this story. I like it, infact I have alot of fun writing it it's just it's hard to continue. I planning on a sequel though.

"Pay Some Rent..."

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"You guys need to pay rent." Said Mario out of the blue one day. "Guys.." He then saw that no one was in the room. In fact he was at a Safe-Way, in line.

"Umm uhh you don't own the store. We don't even know who you are." Said the casheir.

"Are you sure?" Asked Mario.

"Umm... Let me check in the computer... Your name's Mario, Right?" Asked The casheir.

"Yessir... That is my name, and I don't know my last name... Infact I don't have one... Do I?" Responded Mario.

The casheir checked his computer and said,

"Yes we do know you... and you owe us 200,000,000."

"Yes... Umm... You better pay it back by tomorrow... Or I'll get mad." Said Mario nerveousally, right before he stormed away with the groceries he "forgot" to pay for.

"Damn it! He did it again... Damn You Mario, Damn You!" Yelled the owner.

The comotion caused an over weight senoir citisen to have a heart attack.

"You Killed my Father." Said the casheir weilding his light saber in both hands.

"No Luke(Breathes very deeply), I am your Father!" Exclaimed the owner.

"My names Joe." Said the casheir.

"Right Bob" responded The Owner

**Next scene missing**

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Exclaimed the casheir as his father died.

Meanwhile at Mario's house.

"Damn it!" Yelled Mario "Who spilt blood every where"

Luigi pointed at the almost dead DK.

"Help me." cryed DK.

"Shut up!" Said Mario. "Can you pay rent?...Please."

"...No...# that." Said Luigi.


	6. foreign films

AN: For my stories I may give a 'sound track' for a chapter. This means if you have the album put the song on. This chapter doesn't have one.

**_WARNING: DK'92 is sorry for anyone offended by this chapter. It's all just jokes that are made by a very sucky author._**

Mario House Party; chapter 6; Foreign Films. Part 1… Bum Bum bum.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Mario copyright.

"Hey I have some translated foreign films." Said Mario with a big box of foreign films translated.

"Okay… let's watch." Said Bowser.

"yeah" Said everyone else.

Mario put one of the films in called 'I Love France'.

Movie: It showed 2 French men on a boat smoking cigarettes, and drinking wine.

"To America … to kill!" Said one.

"Hey, what do you call an idiot?" Said the other

"What?"

"An American"

(Both do a stereotypical French laugh)

The 2 French men landed on land (… damn that was a bad sentence). A really fat guy came up and said

"Hey."

"American" One of them yelled very loud.

Then with two rapiers they started slashing random people as "no smoking in public buildings" or "no giving wine to kids" was said in the back round.

Then the "ultimate American" which was just a really obese and tall guy.

"Hahah I will kill you after I eat this chocolate.

He ate the chocolate then started melting.

"Oh no, I forgot this was a French film where when anyone eats chocolate they die… Oh No!"

Film ends:

"Damn… that **sucked!" **said Bowser


	7. FF2

AN: Here it is, to put sprinkles on and give you some calories.

Mario House Party: Chapter 7. Foreign films part two.

Disclaimer: **FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT OWN MARIO OR ANYTHING AT THAT MANOR! I do not own the Scorpions either.**

**_WARNING: DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOSALLY! IT'S BAD HUMOR AND IS REALLY QUITE PATHETIC. SORRY TO ANYONE WHO IS AFENDED!_**

Mario then said "Hey uh… let's watch to this."

Mario put the film in and they started watching it.

Film:

2 German men were riding on motorcycles listening to The Scorpions. When one said

"Hey, it's great listening to hard rock."

"Yeah" said the other.

Then they saw someone listening to Michael Bolton.

"That bastard!" Said one named Bob.

Then the metal disgracer (known as MD) shot a beam out of his hand and destroyed the stereo.

Then they ran him over.

(OVER)

"Holy crap, that was short." Said Bowser.

There is one foreign film left… will our losers, I mean heroes survive… who the hell gives a crap?


	8. Long over due

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario. Please take the gun away from the back of my head.

AN: Remember kids… lying is fun.

Mario nudged the tape (for some reason he did not have a DVD player) in the VCR (A/N: it took me a minute to remember that word). The tape started playing when Bowser got up from the couch (which had an imprint of his ass) took the VCR and smashed it on Mario's head, slapped Luigi and then started to urinate on his face. Then Luigi puckered his lips and said "a little salty, but okay"

There was a long weird stretch of silence. Then after around 5 minutes of starring Mario said "Why'd you do that?"

Bowser then looked around nervously, and saw my Author's note then lied some mumbo jumbo about Light sabers and 'The Force'. Mario then asked him to step out the car and walk in a straight line. Then some ending line was made to end this chapter long over due.


End file.
